To Alaster

For an explanation of why I am writing these letters/to see Jack’s letter click HERE… and have a lovely day!

My Dearest Alaster,

The decision to bring you into our family was quick and easy.  I think your dad I only talked about it for one day before we decided to go for it.  Being pregnant with you was also easy.  I only gained 22 lbs. the entire pregnancy and felt great all the way through.  Easy decision, easy pregnancy… we should have guessed you’d also be an easy baby!

I’ll never forget the feeling I had during your delivery.  There was a palpable joy in the room. We were talking and laughing, and I remember taking just one quick moment to myself to observe and feel while your daddy talked to our caregivers.  Taking just a small moment to be still, I felt a rush of gratitude and a flood of joy.  You were to be our happiest baby, and it started right, right away.

Oh Alaster, we needed your joyful spirit in our home!  Daddy had just lost an incredibly good job because of a terrible headache that lasted a full 6 months.  He ended up getting another fantastic job (so good in fact that I was able to quit managing apartments to stay home) but those darn headaches returned! He held on to his job just long enough to get you here.  We needed the insurance it provided for your delivery, but almost the moment you arrived he had to quit.  It was a time of uncertainty and fear for your daddy and I both, but through it all we had you!  This sweet, darling, happy baby boy!  It was nearly impossible not to be happy when we were with you. Your irrepressible smile and consistent love infected us all!

Yep, you were our little ray of sunshine in a cloudy time.  Sometimes, when you were shining especially brightly, Daddy and I would look at each other, shake our heads and ask “Who is this baby???”  We couldn’t get over you!  Those big, brown, disarming eyes… that smile that filled the whole room… your impossibly easy going disposition… we were so in love, and so in awe!

Other people were too.  I remember taking you out in public and laughing at the way people reacted to you.  Sometimes they sought you out and would inevitably comment on your beautiful eyes and your happy disposition. Sometimes you sought them out.  You’d clap eyes on someone and stare at them with a huge, mouth-open smile, your bright eyes big and wide till they noticed you.  Sometimes it would take a while, but you held steady, following them till they noticed. These were my favorite times because you caught people so off guard.  We’d see grumpy or stressed or hurried faces change in a moment to amused, glad,cheerful faces.  It was always a fun transformation!

You have always loved to help others and make their days a little bit brighter.  You’d do anything if you could make someone laugh!  My favorite trick of yours came when you were a little older… maybe somewhere between 12-15 months old?  You would roll on the floor.  Allllll over the floor.  Your chubby little body looked so funny and before long our whole family would be in stitches.  We were powerless against you! We would laugh and laugh and you soaked up every second of it! You still love to make people laugh, particularly your brother Jack (who needs you to keep him from being too serious sometimes) and I love this quality in you!

As previously mentioned, you were an easy, easy baby.  Grandma Carmen came to stay with us right after you were born, and I remember talking to her and saying things like … “Shouldn’t we be doing something?!?”  You were just so content!  You didn’t require constant bouncing or soothing.  You were such a joy!  The only “hard,” thing about you was your slobber.  Good golly you were a slobbery baby.  Gross.  So, so gross.

Alaster, I loved you for being lavishly affectionate. I loved you for your giggles. I loved you for being sweet and caring.  I loved you for being chubby and soft.  I loved you for being generous.  I loved you for being wildly silly and always up for a good time.  I loved you for being charming.  I loved you for being cute.  Oh Aly!  “Cute,” is so trite, but it is true… you were the cutest baby I have ever seen!  So cute that we wondered if Heavenly Father was really paying attention when He made you.  Did He mean to channel so much cuteness into just one little baby boy?  We were thrilled to get to be the ones to witnessed all. that. cuteness. but it hardly seemed fair to the other babies! How did you manage to find the most adorable way to do everything?

It is also worthy to note that you held the position of “baby,” for the longest time in our family so far.  Neither Jack or Truman will have held it that long before it got/gets taken away.  Never was a mother more reluctant to let her baby grow up than I was with you. I wrote a note to Santa once asking him to keep you little.  And did you know your Daddy and I almost cried the night before your third birthday because we were so sad about you getting big?  We got our last ever 2 year old Aly hugs and kisses, left your room and felt our hearts break just a little bit.  It was pretty pathetic!

Oh Alaster.  You were such a special baby.  You were my baby, and so, so easy to love. Thank you for joining our family.  Thank you for loving us and spreading your sunshine!

You’ll never know how much I love you till you have a child of your own!




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